I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
