where am i from again
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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