How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
