When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
