Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
