just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
