My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
