i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
