Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize