Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
