I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
