garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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