Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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