Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
