so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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