This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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