My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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