Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
