Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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