She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize