Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize