Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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