this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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