Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
