So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
