So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
