She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
