I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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