I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We are all done wearing pants today
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This toilet bowl is my home.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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