Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
