it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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