We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
