So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
