in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
