if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
