You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
