what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am available for nakedness
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
