Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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