you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize