He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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