i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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