All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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