No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
