i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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