I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
