They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
