It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
