Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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