I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
