wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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