i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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