Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
