i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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