You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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