In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is that strawberry winking at me??
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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