That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
