I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
