you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
