I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
