I want to make a zoo with you.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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