dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
